I'm Sorrry

I'm sorry I'm not worthy of your love,
your affection, your kindness,
your respect, your friendship.
I am worthy of your abuse,
I am worthy of my own.
I am sorry I can't win my own battles,
or give up my disorder,
I'm sorry that I'm not perfect,
I'm sorry that I want to be.
I am sorry that I can never trust
that someone could care for me
so I must test their caring beyond limitation
until they fail me and I feel empty once more.
I am sorry that I want to be as invisible as I feel,
I don't scream for your attention,
but if you are observant enough
you know I plead for it silently.
I don't seek to hurt you,
I'm sorry.... for who I am, what I am,
what I will become, and what I have been.
I don't ask for your forgiveness, just your understanding.